


My Stability

by autumnchills



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Blood, Buck is Eddie's stability, Canon Compliant, Coda, Eddie Diaz Centric, M/M, Missing Scene, Panic Attacks, Pre-Relationship, pulmonary embolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 03:41:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21367597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnchills/pseuds/autumnchills
Summary: After months of surgeries and rehab, Buck has made it back to where he was, something that still amazes the doctors.That all goes down the drain the moment he starts coughing.—Eddie’s POV in 3x01 and how he reacts to Buck coughing up blood.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 18
Kudos: 410





	My Stability

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt! Fic is canon compliant with hints of Buddie :)

Eddie is beyond proud. There’s little else he can feel when learns that Buck passed his final recertification. After months of surgeries and rehab, Buck has made it back to where he was, something that still amazes the doctors. They had been sure that he would get back to walking, no problem, but to be a firefighter again was up in the air for a while.

Seeing Buck as happy as he is now is infectious. Through it all, there were some pretty dark days. Some weeks passed by without a smile from him at all. This bright beaming smile is something that none of them have seen in months. 

He can’t help but feel warm all around as he hugs Buck, and it stirs a feeling inside of him— something he doesn’t yet have a name for— when Christopher gives his handmade card to  _ his  _ Buck. 

But the happiness radiating around the party is cut off when Buck starts coughing. Eddie is mid-conversation with Karen when the sound reaches his ears. Both he and the other woman look Buck’s way, where the younger man had been talking to Bobby.

It’s just coughing and nothing about it should be catching their attention in the way it does, but then it goes on. Anxiety settles in his chest as Buck starts taking a few steps back, and the coughs turn from dry to wet, Buck’s throat thick with  _ something _ . 

For a second, he thinks Buck might gag or even puke. When Buck covers his mouth with his hand, Eddie thinks he’s done just that. 

But nothing spills from Buck’s mouth that they can see from this distance, and with all eyes on him, he looks to his hand in confusion.

Something dark drips from his hands, and Eddie only has the heart-stopping second to realize that it’s blood before Buck’s coughing up even more. Buck’s eyes widen in realization and Bobby shoots forward to grab him before the man can smack into the ground. 

Each of them steps forward then, Hen moving to his head and Chimney at his side. Eddie leans down beside them, too, and listens to Bobby’s orders. 

He follows each command with a laser-focus, so much that he almost misses Maddie trying to talk to him some minutes later.

“Eddie,” she calls, probably not for the first time. He looks up at her with wide eyes, and a grip still tight as ever on his best friend’s hand. “The paramedics are here,” she continues. “We need to get out of the way.” 

Paramedics. 

Eddie looks to the house and sees a couple of them walking with a stretcher. He glances back down at Buck, as stable as they could make him under the circumstances. Maddie places her hand on his shoulder, and as the two men approach, he finally releases Buck’s hand and steps back.

It’s not until they’re already out the door, Maddie tailing right behind them, that he thinks to look for Christopher. Karen must sense his worry because she approaches him and tells him that Michael had rounded up all the kids and had them wait in May’s room.

He nods, still in too much shock to speak, and looks around the room. Everyone seems a bit unsure of what to do now that the guest of honor is leaving in an ambulance.

“I’m going to make my way to the hospital,” Chimney breaks the silence. He looks to the team. “Is anyone else going?”

Eddie thinks it over for a second, afraid to answer because he might lose his cool. A million reasons why Buck could be coughing up blood run through his head, each one that comes to mind is more daunting than the last. It could be something like a blood clot or heart failure. Either one could  _ kill _ Buck.

The reality of that punches Eddie in the chest, and he gasps, hands flying to his head. Athena catches on quick, and ushers everyone into the house. Eddie takes another rattled breath and looks around wildly. He hears Bobby shout something— to him or someone else he can’t tell— before hands are gripping his arms. He doesn’t even realize that he’s being moved until he gets pushed into a chair, and Bobby is kneeling in front of him. 

Eddie’s brain is void of everything but two thoughts.

_ Too soon. Breathe. Too soon. Breathe. _

His breaths quicken, but he feels like he’s not getting any actual air, and he grasps for whoever still has a hold of him and pulls, trying to anchor himself so he can just  _ breathe _ . 

“I can’t—” he whines into the air. “I can’t breathe.” He clutches at his shirt with his free hand, but Bobby grabs it, placing it on his own chest.

“Eddie, I need you to breathe with me now, okay?” Eddie doesn’t respond, but the captain takes a deep breath anyway. “Breathe in,” he instructs. He holds it for a few seconds before saying, “Now breathe out.”

They go through it multiple times, and Eddie does his best to follow along.

It’s another minute or two before he finally takes in a steady breath, feeling like it’s his first since Buck started coughing.

“How are you doing there?” Hen questions, surprising Eddie. He didn’t realize anyone other than Bobby was still there, but when he looks up, he sees her and Chimney as well. Eddie’s got her wrist in his own hand and her hand is the one on his shoulder.

“You’re still here?” he mutters at Chim, disbelief apparent in his voice.

“I wasn’t about to leave while you were having a panic attack,” Chimney shrugs. He offers Eddie a small smile.

His chest still aches, anxiety still threatening to get the best of him, but he does feel a lot better.

“Want to tell us what that was about?” Bobby asks then. Eddie makes a confused face and Bobby chuckles. “Not the panic attack,” he clarifies. His next words are softer. “You kept saying ‘too soon.’”

Eddie squeezes his eyes shut in humiliation. “I didn’t know I was saying that out loud,” he whispers.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Hen asks.

Eddie shakes his head because _ no, thank you very much _ , but he responds anyway. “I started thinking of how he could die,” he admits. 

“That’s a dangerous path of thinking,” Bobby chides him. “He left here in stable condition.”

“I know,” Eddie insists, “but I couldn’t help but think, not him. Not him, too…” They fall silent, not quite sure what can of worms they might be opening.

“Too?” Chimney asks.

Eddie nods his head. “It’s not even been five months since Shannon passed,” he starts. They each nod, a new understanding coming over them. “I know Buck needed a certain kind of stability during his recovery, and all of us were there for him, but he took the time to be there for me, too.” He eyes the team before continuing. “And I know all of you were there for me when she passed away, but not like Buck was. Buck was  _ my _ stability.” Eddie expects some form of surprise from the others but is met with knowing eyes. 

“I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose my best friend, too,” he finishes. Hen moves her hand into his own and squeezes, offering what little comfort she can.

Bobby looks ready to say something, but Chimney’s phone goes off, and he pulls it out to read the message.

“It’s Maddie,” he shares. “They’re en route for Huntington Hospital.”

“Go,” Bobby tells him. “Keep us updated.” 

Chimney nods and leaves the team, only stopping to update Athena inside before taking off.

After a moment, Bobby focuses on Eddie again. “What do you want to do?”

Eddie thinks it over. What he really wants is to go see Buck. But it’s late, and Christopher has school in the morning. For all he knows, he could be waiting for Buck for hours. Not to mention that if something did go wrong— God forbid— he wouldn’t want Christopher there to witness it. 

“I think I’m going to take Christopher home,” he decides. 

He’ll see his Buck soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Special Thanks to my beta reader: beacon911
> 
> This was definitely a one-sitting written ficlet, but I hope you all still enjoy it! 
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos, as they always encourage me to write more! If you feel I missed some necessary tags, please let me know what it is I should add.


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